Mary Rose returned to work back on October 6, plunging in full time with great energy and determination. It was time and she was eager for the challenge. Resuming what had been our regular schedule for so long was a bit disorienting at first. The months of treatment and medical leave were always something of an improvisation; a narrow focus to just get through the day, the week, the next phase. The regular patterns for the family of work, school and my freelance life seemed almost unfamiliar when they returned, but appreciated nonetheless. Welcome back (to some extent at least) to the old normal.
After an initial adverse reaction, Mary Rose adapted very well to Tamoxifen (the estrogen blocking hormone therapy.) A course of treatment that encompassed the traumas of chemo, surgery and radiation is now reduced to just one pill a day; a small reminder of much bigger things that came before. Follow-up appointments with her oncologist, radiologist and plastic surgeon were promising. She endured radiation very well, and the prospects for further reconstruction are good. The ongoing concern is the prospect of recurrence. This is the known unknown, the undertone of concern beneath the surface, the vigil that does not end. This is where statistics and individual physiologogy and psychology clash, with no predictable outcome. Tamoxifen will continue to do its job, possibly supplemented soon with a complementary drug to increase its effectiveness. Diet matters, fitness matters, outlook matters–all these things can improve the odds, but there is and can be no certainty. So we live with uncertainty and vigilance, but also with determination and hope.
Meanwhile, how about that sexy short hair, huh? She gets so many compliments she might just keep it that way. It’s all good from my perspective. between hairdos, wigs and baldness there’s been something new to spice things up all year long.
We close 2008, our annus horribilis, forever changed by cancer. Not defeated, not diminished, but different. Everything about life is thrown into sharp relief: what really matters; what’s worth living for, fighting for; how fragile and precious it all truly is.
Our sincere and abiding thanks for all the love, support and prayers you have shared with us this year. They truly matter, and we feel blessed to have received them. Our blessings to you in turn for a healthy and prosperous new year.
The calendar turns, the earth moves imperceptibly, promises and plans are made. Life, this beautiful life, goes on.
